Pay it Forward

I was once asked the question, "do you think people are by nature good or bad?" Are people instinctively good natured and corrupted by circumstance, experience, or environment? Or are people naturally cold hearted and through much effort and self examination reprogrammed to do good? Like my friend, Kori, said this is a twisted question. I think we can all agree that it is easier to ignore ethics but less satisfying for the soul. Its easier to lie, cheat and steal and take the easy way out, but if you have any moral compass at all these actions tear away at your heart.

After hearing this question, multiple times I have tried to form an unwavering opinion, and unfortunately have yet to do so. At first, and I hate to admit this, but I said people were bad natured due to some negative experiences and because admirable people are more rare to find. After some time, I corrected my hypothesis saying that babies are born innocent and through the challenges of life become corrupt. I do strongly believe that these challenges are tests of faith in God, but the question still lingers.

I bring this up because my new hypothesis was challenged this evening. A less fortunate family of three came in to the restaurant. A kind regular noticed them mulling over the prices of every item on our menu. He had already spent the majority of the afternoon helping me with my new vehicle, and if this wasn't enough, decided to buy this family dinner. Having already deciding what they were having, I informed them that a customer paid for their dinner. Instead of appreciating the generosity of a stranger the began to order multiple items to take home with them. I finally had to be the bitch and say "I'm sorry, but I believe he just meant to pay for your dinner here." I felt awful for doing so, but it also tore my heart apart to whiteness them taking advantage of such a benevolent man. Was I wrong? After telling the regular of this disrespectful turn of events he said he wasn't surprised and appreciated me stopping them.

What do y'all think? Is this what our society has come to? I understand people are less fortunate but that is no excuse for such ungrateful behavior. Is this why some people are so reluctant to help others? Is this why there are bitter people in the world? Is this why so many people refuse to go off welfare and instead take advantage of the system, instead of allowing someone who is truly in need to receive help?

However, then there is the other question. . . How do you know when someone is being sincerely generous, or expecting something in return? This man wasn't expecting something from the family but many times people are do something for someone else only to be owed something. As a woman, we have to watch out for this. I'm not saying men don't, I'm just saying women are more prone to having men expect something from them. A guy offers to buy you a drink. . . What are they expecting? Ha ha we all know. A man offers you a free, no strings attached vacation. . . Please. How do you decipher chivalry from horneyness?

I feel that everyone should participate in the service industry at one point in their lives. You see sooooo many sides of people. You see people at their best and worst and let me tell you, no matter what anyone says, alcohol makes you very very HONEST. You see people who are the ruddest, crudest, obnoxious assholes and in five minutes you'll meet someone so good hearted, kind, and generous. It makes you realize the kind of person you want to be like and the kind you don't. 

Last week, I witnessed a simplistically glorious act of kindness from the man who owns the shop next door. An elderly woman, who was by herself had come into our restaurant on a busy Monday. She was extremely polite and sat there quietly enjoying her meal, observing others. She left me a more than generous tip. Without knowing how kind she was or anything about her, for that matter, this man saw her struggling to get to her car due to the hectic traffic out front. He left his shop, walked her frail body to her car and made sure she drove off safely. 

So what is your opinion? Do you think people are naturally good or bad? What I wish is to see more people "pay it forward". I loved that movie and love the commercials that show the trickle effect of your kindness. (Though I cant remember what they were selling ha ha) I also believe how you act towards others is how others will treat you. Its amazing when you act kind to others others are kind to you. So who do you want to be like? What do you want to receive?

Hugs & Kisses