Great Relationships

I think we all can admit that there is a BIG difference between the friendships we have with one another. I truly love love love my good friends. I not talking about the fake friends that act like they care, but as soon as you are not around act shady. I'm talking about the ones that love you unconditionally. Love you when you are happy or sad, when you're laughing and even when you know you sound nutty or make outrageous decisions (like leaving everything to live in an RV for a year) The ones that just the sound of their voice can some how calm you down the way a big bear hug does. I was recently told, by a friend, that I live off hugs and laughter. :) I want to send out a GIANT bear hug to all these people in my life. Oh and a big F U to all the not so good friends. 

One of my best friends, Crystal called me the other day. I can not explain how great it was to talk to her. We had our usual rant about whatever BS is going on in our lives, but then she picked me right back up with words of encouragement. She is so supportive in everything I do. Every time I had a big decision to make I'd run to her for advice. She doesn't just fill my head with what I want to hear, she asks the hard questions, the realities that I sometimes don't want to consider. She has always been my rock when things got hard. She encouraged me to embrace Yoga and even this trip. When she called, she sent her love with her. She kept saying how proud of me she was and how though this is sometimes difficult, she knows I am strong enough to make it. She also sent the love from everyone at Meehan's who asks about me and I thank you all for that. I appreciate my support system and please, please, please don't hesitate to call or email. I really need the encouragement. 

Let's see what have I been up to outside from working my booty off at the tavern (aka hell) and at the gym. I went to Metamora Hot Air Balloon Festival. I didn't know if I'd be able to make it, but I managed to escape from work just in time. I vaguely remember going when I was a little girl, which perked my interest to see it as an adult. When I was young, I remember how big they were and how amazing it was to touch them. I was surrounded by them. To explain what happens, you basically sit in a field and wait for the 15-20 pilots to drive up and unload their balloons. They lay them out on the ground, slowly fill them with air until satisfactory then ignite the flame which causes the balloon to float away. I'm having trouble finding words to describe it. One minute, I was laying there appreciating the simplicity of laying in a field, on a beautiful day, watching the hot air balloons float away like bubbles and the next I was fascinated by someones ability to stand in a basket, high in the air with nothing but a sheer  balloon that feels like silk, keeping them afloat. I've posted pictures on my facebook, if you are interested. 

I also spent an afternoon with my grandparents. We went to Outdoor Adventure, where they swam and I sunbathed. Next, my grandfather took us to lunch with the money he earned from his last minute garage sale.  In a world where divorce is so common, I've been very curious as to what has made their 51 year marriage last. They have always been a very private and not openly affectionate couple, but i was determined to find out. After inquiring, I was answered with few words about the proposal, except for the fact that my grandfather never really asked my grandmother to marry him, he just gave her a ring. Ha Ha The only comment I received about the wedding was that it was hot. I tried to dive deeper and talk about their first few years together. My grandma shared a little bit and asked my grandfather if he remembered anything. He was less helpful and she joked that he can't remember their marriage but he can remember anything about his or his sons old cars. Sure enough, my grandfather described one of my uncles old cars, what had been remolded on it, where it got serviced, who they bought it from and who they sold it to. Ha Ha A little disappointed at the lack of information I sat back in my chair and just watched them for just a moment... and there it was. For a split second, I saw the way they looked at each other. It wasn't showy or dramatic, it was simple and sweet. Their eyes were locked and they held the slightest smiles on their faces. In this glance they appeared to have shared an unspoken connection that felt more intimate then anything any man has ever said to me. After 51 years, I'm sure it was unnoticed to them, but from an outsiders perspective I could see it all. It made me realize that every relationship is different and even though sometimes we don't understand why two people are together, it is not our place to figure out. All I hope is that one day, I am so luck to find someone that in a stolen moment I can share the same unspoken, intimate, connection with. Another thing I live for are stolen moments :)

Hugs & Kisses

Please Appreciate Your Days Off

So, I survived the first half of hell week at work. That's right, 32 hrs in 3 days and many more to go. Things are actually not so awful at work these days. I think the B***hes are realizing that I don't care how they feel about me, or their caddy words whispered behind my back. Maybe they've accepted me into their covenant and things from here on out will be happy-go-lucky. Ha Ha At least the owner is finally appreciating my hard work by giving me good sections. We shall see. I'll keep you informed on the likely chance I pull a "Jerry McGuire" and just flip out on their asses.

Today, being my only day off, was incredibly lively. I wanted to visit my three sisters and their families, at their homes. The idea, however, was far too enthusiastic for the reality of time. After enjoying the company of my grandparents over a wonderful meal, prepared by my grandmother, I drove to my hometown, North Branch, MI. Phone service is scattered due to the fact that there are primarily cornfields, on both sides of the road, with the occasional house or barn breaking up the monotony. This is where my sister, Angie lives with her fiance Al and beautiful daughter Marley. We had a wonderful time, catching up with each other, and discussing her upcoming nuptials. She has worked so hard on EVERY aspect of the wedding, all the way from flower arrangements to little bows on silverware roles. I'm so excited to see how unique and beautiful it's going to be. Miss Marley is so precious. Ang taught her to embrace her creative, uncommon, sparkling personality and I just love listening to her. 

Then came the 30 minute drive to Brown City, MI, to see my older sister. More cows and cornfields and then, Oh my goodness!! I'm stuck behind a tractor pulling bails of hay, with the stench of manure everywhere. After following the lead of the other two cars on the road, I arrive at my destination and am greeted by an Amish family in a horse and buggy. I am compelled to laugh out loud because all I can think about is my regular at Meehan's, who would relentlessly make fun of me for going back to Amish country. 

Time with my sister Heather and my brother-in-law Melvin is always a pleasure. They are always so wonderfully vocal as we defiantly do not share the same beliefs or interests, but that's what intrigues me so much about them. I feel that everyone can learn from one anther's different points of view. You'll never know what diverse tid bits you can apply to your life, unless you engage in conversation with someone not identical to you. My nephew once asked why I had to have special kabobs made for me without chicken. I explained I was a vegetarian, which means I didn't eat meat. His response was "Not even chicken? Well, that's just unamerican." Yes my nephew was trying to accuse me of being unpatriotic at age 10. 

As my short lived day off comes to an end, I will be enjoying the newest addition to my Kindle book collection: 127 Hours by Aron Ralston. BTW I love love love my Kindle and think everyone should purchase one, turn off the TV and start reading. I'm not giving any of the story away, so hopefully this will intrigue you enough to read it.  I will just leave you with the opening quote. "Passion: That which I suffer, allow, endure, is done to me." OK, I guess I'll tease you a little more. " ... a choice of route is yours. I cannot advise you which to take, or lead you through it all- you must decide for yourself- but I can tell you the ways of either course..."

Hugs & Kisses

Seriously!!

Hey y'all. Sorry it has been so long since I posted anything. I've been super busy with this new job. Seriously, not exaggerating! I don't know how anyone can be expected to be on their feet for so long. Just to give you an idea, here is my schedule for the following week: Monday 11-9, Tuesday 11-11, Wednesday 11-9, Friday 11-11, Saturday 11-8, Sunday 12-9!!! WTF!!! I will defiantly be begging someone to hire me, on my only day off. I had planned on working a lot, while in MI, to save money for my adventure, but this is outrageous and the money is not outweighing what I am giving up.

I know many of you didn't know this, but I had a lot more planned, for my visit to MI, besides just making money and visiting family. One goal, as cliche as it sounds, was to reconnect with myself. I put so much emphasis the last few (OK 6) months on having a good time, that I lost sight of my desire, to become a Yoga instructor. As much as I tried, it was impossible for me to live a healthy lifestyle and still go out partying all the time. The idea was to step away from that environment, and yes the peer pressure from Jacob to take shots til 4am. Ha Ha Love you bro! The next year and a half, I will be practicing Yoga every morning, eating right, getting more connected with my spirituality... you know, all the typical stuff we say we are going to do. Of course, I am realistic and understand that there are exceptions to any rule. I have had the occasional drink, just not as much or often.

So, this brings me to my dilemma. Working at this F***ing place with these F***ing Caddy B***hes is torture! Seriously! I forgot how miserable people in MI are. They work too hard for too little money and don't seem to care about anything. I refuse to be sucked into this negativity, which is why I have been forced to have an after work drink, at the local bars. 

Ha Ha Oh my goodness, there is a bar, up the road from my grandparents called Hitch and Post where I purchased a 32oz Killians, which aside from Labatt, was the most exotic beer they carried, a Jameson, which they had the nerve to ask if I wanted chilled, for $8.25. Crazy! Oh and they had free pool, which come to find out, the only reason it's free is because someone smashed he glass on the side of the table. Oh and one night I went to the local hot spot, better known as Applebees, and had old man river on my right trying to get me to dance with him to the melody of our fellow patrons singing Karokee, and a freshly 21 year old on my left thinking he has game. Wow! And to think I didn't come back sooner.

Seriously though, I have been taking care of myself and not going out all the time. I am focused and excited to discover what will happen next, in my life. Though this has not been easy by any means, I feel something great is in store.

But before I go I need to clear up a few things. 1. Starr is my middle name. I didn't feel comfortable with putting my last name online, but funny how comfortable I'm becoming with blogging my personal thoughts. Ha 2. If you know anyone that gave me an email and didn't receive one from me, I am very sorry. However, the 150 emails that were written in my  notebook were hard to read, probably because half of them were written by slightly less than sober people. I read and typed what I could, but the computer said a lot of the emails were invalid. So if you know anyone who didn't receive an email please forward it to them. 3. As angry as I think people are in MI, I still have hope for them afterall. While driving, I saw a mural, of a scenic view, painted on the side, of a hardware store. It said "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is going through some kind of battle."

Hugs & Kisses

Lunch with Grandpa

Today I went to lunch with my grandfather. It"s the first time we've ever been out together alone and probably the first time we've ever had a real conversation. I asked him a lot of questions about where he grew up and his brothers and sisters. He told me about his old job and about what he builds out in the barn. It was very nice except for the fact that The Farmhouse Restaurants decorations consisted of deer heads and farming equipment. Picture this, a vegetarian trying to eat her veggie meal, with a deer staring you in the eyes. Creepy!

On the way home we were talking about the van he used to own. He thinks I should buy one instead of a large rv because it has a bed, stove, toilet, everything I would need, but smaller. He sold it to a man up the road, who gave it to someone else, who was coincidentally having a garage sale. We stopped and he told the man he used to own it etc. etc. etc, I now know where I get the ability to talk to anyone about anything.

My point, with all this,  is that everyone should take the time to get to know their loved ones and not to take them for granted. He had triple by pass last year and I couldn't go up to MI. It made me think that I never really took the time to get to know him. I'm so thankful to have had the chance and plan to make more of an effort. Call someone you love today. 

Hugs & Kisses

WTF

So I just finished my first training shift at The Tavern in Oxford, MI. I went in at 11 this am. Yeah, that's right, say it, wtf?! Their shifts are from 10:45 am til 9pm at the earliest or 5pm til close which is at 2. My feet are so sore from my new shoes. I never knew your feet could get so bruised or blisters could get blisters, just from walking. All I have to say is that I've never appreciated or missed Meehans so much. :) The staff and regulars are nothing compared to you guys. 

Hugs & Kisses

Let's Catch Up

So let me catch everyone up to speed...

The trip up here was interesting. I definitely need to post a picture of Cody and Chi Chi. The car was packed and I had her in a cage and him on top of blankets next to her. Let me remind you that I drive a two seater convertible. This was a very interesting arrangement. Cody hates long car rides and wouldn't even look at me. Mike once told me that "Cody's mission in life is to snuggle" which is why I thought his attitude was so odd. Anyways, enough about my pets. 

The drive was beautiful. If you've never driven up 75 through Tennessee and Kentucky get in the car right now and do so. Seriously, go for it, put the windows down, blast your favorite tunes, breathe in the fresh air, and enjoy the wide open spaces. The scenery is so angelic with the winding roads, mountain views, and all the fun shops along the way. In Tennessee, one minute you are in a quaint little valley that looks like nothing has changed in years, and the next you are looking out the window, seeing nothing but exquisite mountain tops. 

Then you travel through Kentucky, where it's completely different. You get to experience gigantic pastures and rolling hills. For some read=son, my GPS (thanks again guys) took me off 75 and had me driving down side streets through small towns. It was so much fun to see these small county towns that I otherwise would've never been to. Maybe something was just preparing me for Michigan. 

If you didn't already know, I am from a very very very small town. When I think of where I grew up, I visualize cows, cornfields, and lots of dirt roads. Ha Ha don't get me wrong, this was a great place to grow up, it's just a little different than what I've been used to. I'm looking forward to getting reacquainted with my roots. I can't wait to revisit all the beautiful state parks, sand dunes, and of course, the great lakes. 

Yesterday, my sister and brother in law took my grandparents and I for a drive up the coast. We drove along the thumb (look at a map of MI and I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what I'm talking about :) They took us to Harbor Beach, where we walked along the boardwalk and got a change to see a cute little lighthouse. I forgot how peaceful the lakes are. I told them about the crazy adventure I had planned. At first, my older sister looked at me like I had three heads but then she said "Nikki, you have that free spirit about you and I wouldn't expect anything less." Which really meant a lot because I wouldn't be able to do this without their support.

Which brings me to why this blog is called "A Nickel for your Thoughts". By the way, thank you Dan for coming up with the name. So, my grandfather has a thick polish accent and has always pronounced my name nickol which, I think, sounds like he is saying nickel. When I first started working at Meehan's my friend Will B and I went out for drinks and discussed weird names, of course, because his name is Will B. Strange. (love and miss you Will B) I told him this and the nickname stuck. This is what the "old school" crew calls me. Before our drive, I told my grandparents this and asked my grandfather pronounce my name. Sure enough, "Nickol" came out. I love it, but I don't think I be getting him to say it again anytime soon, now that I've pointed it out. 

So what am I doing today, you ask? Since I have yet to find a "sugar daddy" I went to looking for a bartending job.(Totally kidding about wanting a sugar daddy) On Friday, I got hired at the first place I stopped, but the training on Saturday made me realize that it was a little too slow for me. So today, I went to two other bars, got hired at both and start training tomorrow. I understand and appreciate that I am a very very lucky girl to get these opportunities so quickly. I'll let you know soon how they work out. 

That's all for today. Missing everyone everyday. 

Hugs & Kisses

Farewell

After recovering from my last days at Meehans, (once again I can not thank you all enough) I packed my blue Miata with everything I could. Most of you have seen my car, since some nights it has slept over at bars around Atlanta, so you know this isn't much. I had to take my clothes out of the boxes and randomly shove them into any nook and cranny I could find.  It was an adventure in itself. People around my complex had to have been laughing at me, because I know I would have been.

The plan was to leave in the morning, after one last night with some very close friends. Ashley, Crystal, I and a couple guy friends had a little cookout. We all sat around, had a few beers, laughed and reminisced. I will never forget the way I felt that night. I kept wondering in my head over and over if I was doing the right thing. I kept looking at my friends, thinking how impossible it would be for me to adore and cherish anybody I meets company, more than them. I felt so much love that past week, I'd be crazy to go. 

So the morning came. I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. I was lying in bed wondering what to do when I realized that the whole point of this trip was for me accept that life can not confined by plans and expectations. The point is to acknowledge that plans always change. I used to worry so much about not having it all figured out and now I want to embrace the chaos. 

I convinced myself to stay another day, and goodness am I glad I did. It gave me a chance to have some alone, self reflecting, time. I took Cody for one last walk around the nature trail and contemplated what I was about to do. At first, I was consumed by the thought of all this being one big mistake. That I got in way over my head and had no idea what I was doing. However, after dwelling on it, and imaging every possible outcome for my life, I had an incredible sense of calmness and gratification. Something felt right, felt safe, felt like this is what I needed to do. After that, I went home and practiced Yoga in my sunroom one last time, with all the candles light. Later I went for one last late night swim in my pool, told myself I was satisfied with this final goodbye and could leave. 

The next morning, I packed Cody and Chi Chi, in my car, on top of all my stuff, had probably the most heart-wrenching farewells I'll ever experience and drove off... 

Tomorrow I'll tell y'all about my drive to Michigan and then what I am up to today. 

Hugs & Kisses