Adapting to Change

I just got home from my sister, Angie's house. She is doing so great. Had to get her hair all cut off after the surgery, but I think she looks fabulous. She is having a hard time adapting to the changes of her body and appearance, but isn't that the hardest part of any struggle? Adjusting to the new way you look at life and they way your body feels. I"m so proud of her perseverance. 

I enjoyed the night with my adorable little niece, Marley, who always has a way of stealing the show. We played "salon". I don't have children so I'm not used to this simple joy. We did each others nails and makeup. Ha ha I loved every minute of it even despite the fact that I look like I'm a rock star from the 80's. After much coaxing she even let me do her hair to look like aunt Nikki's. She looked like a princess and I simply enjoyed having her brush mine.

We talked about school, her friends, and what she wants to be when she grows up. She told my sister that she wants to be a waitress lik mom so she can help her out at work, since she knows how hard she works. Isn't that just precious? The sheer innocence and love a child has for someone they care about. Marley speaks in such a  "a matter of fact" way that I admire her. How many people do u know that speak their mind that doesn't offend or upset someone else. 

Its so intriguing how my days can be so intertwined with lessons and answers to questions that I  have. The book I'm reading gave such an inspirational quote about making a difference in this world in such an honest way. Its called One Day by David Nicholls saying "Live each day as id it's your your last'. that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn't practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world   exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion... And work hard at something. Change lives... Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loves, if you ever get the chance."

Throughout this journey I've wanted to make a difference in other peoples lives. Show them that they do not have to be complacent and encourage them to go after what they really want out of life. However, this time in MI has been so centered around working 60 hrs a week that I think I need to change my original plan. The crazy thing is that I'm so hesitant to do so. Which is crazy because that was the whole point of this trip. To adapt and accept the changes/obstacles that come my way. 

So here is the new plan. I want to stay in MI long enough to have a sizable nest egg to travel for a month straight. I now know that working in destinations hinders me from really experiencing them. I want to travel the united states with a tent and really experience my surroundings, then settle in GA and save for my month in an ashram< which will probably not be Guatemala (thanks Al) but somewhere just as exotic. This way I can still have the adventure I'm looking for with the security of a home base. These past few months Ive really realized how important it is to feel secure and at home. 

I understand now why people don't leave. Traveling is all fine and dandy but there is something to be said about security. I never realized what I had until I left it all behind. I miss the fellowship I have with individuals I care about. I miss the comfort of home. I've been searching for this breath of fresh air feeling. that I remember having at my simple apartment in Smyrna. It never mattered what happened during the day because when I  walked through that door, everything disappeared. I was engulfed in love and oneness with myself. I guess it took me leaving to realize how lucky I was. 

I will always travel and make an effort to never be complacent but I now know the importance of home. I'm blessed so much to have two places to call such. MI will always be my roots. It will always be what me who I am and in a way be home but GA is my chosen home. Yes I'm sure I'll find other places Id love to live and one day I may move but when people ask me about home I have no hesitation to say GA because that"s where my heart is and people can see that.

overdramatic, emotional, blunt, and way to focused on the simple things but damn it this is me. How many people can say that? I know who I am and own up to it and my values. So please, please,  please,  take the time to figure out who you are, be true to it and don't let go. Adapt but don"t let go.

Hugs & Kisses