Farewell

After recovering from my last days at Meehans, (once again I can not thank you all enough) I packed my blue Miata with everything I could. Most of you have seen my car, since some nights it has slept over at bars around Atlanta, so you know this isn't much. I had to take my clothes out of the boxes and randomly shove them into any nook and cranny I could find.  It was an adventure in itself. People around my complex had to have been laughing at me, because I know I would have been.

The plan was to leave in the morning, after one last night with some very close friends. Ashley, Crystal, I and a couple guy friends had a little cookout. We all sat around, had a few beers, laughed and reminisced. I will never forget the way I felt that night. I kept wondering in my head over and over if I was doing the right thing. I kept looking at my friends, thinking how impossible it would be for me to adore and cherish anybody I meets company, more than them. I felt so much love that past week, I'd be crazy to go. 

So the morning came. I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. I was lying in bed wondering what to do when I realized that the whole point of this trip was for me accept that life can not confined by plans and expectations. The point is to acknowledge that plans always change. I used to worry so much about not having it all figured out and now I want to embrace the chaos. 

I convinced myself to stay another day, and goodness am I glad I did. It gave me a chance to have some alone, self reflecting, time. I took Cody for one last walk around the nature trail and contemplated what I was about to do. At first, I was consumed by the thought of all this being one big mistake. That I got in way over my head and had no idea what I was doing. However, after dwelling on it, and imaging every possible outcome for my life, I had an incredible sense of calmness and gratification. Something felt right, felt safe, felt like this is what I needed to do. After that, I went home and practiced Yoga in my sunroom one last time, with all the candles light. Later I went for one last late night swim in my pool, told myself I was satisfied with this final goodbye and could leave. 

The next morning, I packed Cody and Chi Chi, in my car, on top of all my stuff, had probably the most heart-wrenching farewells I'll ever experience and drove off... 

Tomorrow I'll tell y'all about my drive to Michigan and then what I am up to today. 

Hugs & Kisses